// The Hunt

"If you were to die tonight

Would you be okay With what you did today?"

Asked this strange man wearing a red robe

And a witty smile.

Being off guard, it took me a little while

To process this scene,

To see what this question might mean.

"err, yes I guess."

I confessed

"are you certain?

I feel like there's more behind the curtain."

"Yes, I'm certain. And also in hurry.

Why?

That's not for you to worry.

I have somewhere to get to.

Apparently in contrast to you.

Have a good day, bye."

In order to continue my stride

I pushed him aside.

A little harder than intended

For the man fell to the ground.

Thus our encounter ended

Before it could get profound.

He didn't protest

And I didn't turn around.

just went ahead - destination bound

Anyway, the man didn't scream

Didn't shout, none

So I assume no damage was done.

Hence, I can easily forget

That strange man I just met.

By the time I arrived at my job

I had my mind occupied with a lot

But not the encounter.

Which was good

For right when I was about to sit down at my desk

My boss approached

Announcing his mood was not at best

Nonetheless,

"here's what I think."

He said smiling

"the project you've been working on

For the last 13 months

Can from now on be neglected.

For our analysts detected

It won't fit the market.

Thank god, you only just started.

Why don't you get going

And start something new.

At least that's what you should be wanting to.

How about we meet again in three hours?

And you tell me anew

what you're going do

with your freshly freed powers."

Those were his last words.

He left the room

Left me. Unheard.

Soon, I started to ponder

Felt empty and began to wonder

My professional me just fell asunder

Was turned into a mess.

This project was my life

And now I ought

To come up with something fresh

Within the rolls of a dice.

Is this what I want to work for?

Surrendering my workforce

Contributing to the worthless purpose

Of some corporate ideal

That does neither think nor feel?

Whose sole goal is

Fostering pecuniary motives.

While the value my work produces

Is foremost and first elusive.

Maybe he wasn't all that stupid

That bald stranger

and his accusive intrusion.

Would I really be okay,

Should I be okay

With what I did today?

I thought,

Suddenly afraid.

This question: simple yet mature

Made me feel insecure

About so many of my choices.

Amazing how among all the noises

That stranger's voice is

the one that shatters my bedrock.

Hours after he was gone.

In fact, now I wonder what he had done

If I answered 'no'.

That I would not be okay

With what I did today.

Not at all.

That at its core

All I work for

is but my pay.

Day by Day

Year by year.

How blind have I been?

Why had I not seen

That I'm building someone else's dream.

Someone else's.

Instead of mine

Luckily, there is still time.

"Knock knock" Said my boss

" are you ready?"

He said too.

"to pitch your next breakthrough?"

"Yes", I lied.

"go ahead, the big room is it?

I'll catch up with you in a minute.

There's still one last thing I have to check.

I'll be right back."

That being said.

I left my office

My boss didn't protest,

So I didn't turn around.

Just went ahead - destination bound.

I needed to get out

Out of the house

To find my true drive

Needed to enter a new life.

"where's he,

Where's that man?

He'll know the way.

He'll know how I can find the change

I desire today."

I ran down the street

The same street I hurried down this morning

Equally paced,

Equally hasting.

And yet everything was different indeed.

Hopes high and spirit dawning

Not chased

But chasing.

"it shoud be here,

Shouldn't it?

This should be the place."

The man though seemed nowhere near

"what if",

I thought afraid

"what if he was gone,

Or worse, never real?"

The residents, the pedestrians!!

"hello, have you seen this man?"

I started describing him as best as I can.

"he is short

And looks quite old.

He seems Asian of some sort

And wears a weird red robe."

"no"

"no, sorry, I haven't seen him."

"What? Who?"

Nobody knew.

Not even those always around.

Not the beggars, not the shop owners.

The man was not to be found.

Slowly I began to worry

"should this be the end of my story?"

"oh hello,

Do you have a dollar

No?

For a homeless man?

Alright then."

Asked a weathered beggar,

Sitting on his blanket of some crimson shade

Half dozing half awake

As I was strolling past him.

Wait.

"you live here. Have you seen this man?"

"well, why are you looking for him?"

Asked the beggar as he unfroze

And tore me out of my

Short self-pittying episode.

"why? He disrupted my life.

He wanted to know

If I were okay

With what I did today,

If I were to die

Tonight."

"oh wow,

What a difficult question.

That's really one to give your life a new direction.

Do you know the answer yet?"

Asked the beggar,

Having me turn red.

"No, thats the issue.

After all I've been through

I know but one thing:

My life needs a different ring."

The beggar took some time.

"I wish I had your answer.

For sure I couldn't find mine.

As you can see,

I got lost,

Looking for my happy spree,

My very own sunshine,

My star behind all the dust.

You need to understand

I was just like you once.

Right at that point

Frustrated and annoyed

By the life I held in hands,

How I spent my months.

So, I quit my job

Overnight.

Donated all I'd got,

That's right.

Hoping that this was it,

Now I'm free

I could do whatever I want

Whatever whatever means.

Just like you

Full of energy,

I wondered 'what is it that I want to do?'

I like to write,

So I wrote.

I liked to bike,

So I rode.

I met many people,

Some inspiring, some funny,

Some tiring, some grumpy.

When I didn't like what I wrote,

I moved on.

When I didn't like where I biked,

I moved on.

When I didn't like the people I met on the road,

I moved on.

I started to think

'theres got to be more.

There's got to be more.'

And slowly without noticing

My passion turned into a chore.

At that point I started to wonder

Do I still want to find my passion any longer?

The price was so high

And the return so so uncertain

Most of the time I felt tied

Sometimes even hurting.

Finally I took the energy to decide

This hunt. It's just not worth it...

That's now twenty years ago.

Ever since I've been living in this flow

No ups, no downs,

No smiles, no frowns.

To be honest,

I grew too weak

To continue my seek.

It seemed easier to me

To skip the magic stuff's enticing

When in return the day is sufficing

That doesn't come around surprising.

Skip the happiness,

I figured, I understood,

Skip the uneasy stress

Commanding there's got to be more

under the hood.

Sure, I had good moments too.

But none good enough

To outweigh what I went through.

Now, for 20 years

I've seen nothing new.

Nothing good, but also no fears,

No plight, no dispair.

Monotony for happiness and tears -

To me that seems fair...

I realize, this is probably not

What you came to hear.

But it's better to stop

Before you get hurt for real."

He said

Smiling witty for a moment

Before he went back to doze and

Ask each and every stroller:

"do you have a dollar?

No?

For a homeless man?

Alright then."

And so the beggar left me

Half awake, half dozing

Staring blankly.

Sitting on his blanket

Of a reminiscent reddish hue.

Leaving me without a clue

Asking frankly,

Could he be right? Is it true?

Would I be better off

Not looking

For what he called magic stuff?

"RUFF, RUFF!!!"

Barked a dog emerging from the left

Only seconds before he jumped my leg

Had me swerving

Then falling into a pile of garbage bags.

This fall, it had

No Style, No grace.

Yet the dog stood there,

Right in his place.

Looking at me

more supportive than I could bear

Given my fresh loss of dignity.

He watched me,

Watched me,

Watched just me.

Happy as only a dog can be.

As I stumbled out of my callous bed

That dirty pile of garbage bags

The dog danced in sheer excitement.

With my right hand

I picked some banana skin

Off my hair, threw it in a bin.

Acknowledged my terrible smell.

'should I send the dog to hell?'

But he looked so cute.

With that dark curly hair,

That soft soft snoot,

-i... I just didn't dare.

Despite - or perhaps because -

Of my new scent reeking like a puddle of sewage

The dog approached and cuddled right into it.

I caressed his furr

Noticed his collar

Was colored in red and leathered

Carrying a tag, looking weathered.

showing a length of illegible letters.

This dog with no name

Seemed like one in so many

Straying dogs that are all the same

Though to me

he was quite the contrary.

To me, he was a beacon of light.

Should I keep him by my side?

But before I could decide

He ran off into the night.

Having me act more on a reflex

Than apt reflection

Following up in his direction.

only just seeing him vanish around the corner

I managed to follow him to this city's border

But our journey was not straight.

We took detour after detour,

Ran in circle after circle.

Again and again we passed that famous gate.

Again and again the dog barked at its ornamenting knights.

Another left,

another right,

another right.

Here we were again barking at the gate

With its ornamenting knights.

As we passed it for the fifth time

The dog longed for something new

And sped right through

Arriving at the gates other side.

Discovering an unseen world of wonders

"at least for the dog", I pondered

"everything just seemed so nice.

I mean, why not,

we've only been here twice."

He never got bored despite

- Or perhaps because -

We never quite

Left this city's lights.

Still The dog would find

Something new and exciting

Something old and delighting.

He led such a wonderful balance

Sometimes pleasuring memories,

Entertaining his talents.

Sometimes endeavouring discoveries,

Risking a dead end.

Was there no way forth,

He just went back,

Knowing there was something left to adore.

Once he was bored and acquainted,

He ventured off to explore the unrated.

Just like we did now.

side by side marching

Up a hill I'd never seen.

Me thinking, him barking,

Constituting this unexpected team.

As we got nearer to the clouds

I got clearer in my thoughts.

As we got to the top of the hill

I looked back down at my past

Despite - or perhaps because -

Knowing it was the very same still

It now appeared attractive and vast.

All because

the Stranger, my boss,

The beggar, the dog

Had managed to change my perspective at last.